How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Whats 9 + 10? 19.

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A hispanic man eats a taco and enjoys. He is kicked in the nuts 2 months later.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, instead it got put in to a McDonald's chicken wrap. Life is funny sometimes, and sceane

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

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Why did the weiner dog puncture Doris's bladder? It got carried away during an oral sex session.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench A: The NBA

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Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

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Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting at your doorstep? matt what do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the water? bob what do you call a man that just had his daughter taken away from him? ...sam

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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2 nuns were in a bathtub. One says to the other "Could you pass me the soap please?" The other replies, "What do you think I am, a radio?"

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When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

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A man goes to the potty.

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Roses are red, Viiolets are blue, Get in the gas chamber, You dirty Jew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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