Why did the man commit a serious crime? Because he couldn't think of any funny crimes.

Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

mexicans fishing

teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

Lisa: Omg Karen, just had sex with Ben, his weiner was sooo tiny lol. Ben: I think you sent me the wrong text.

I like the color potato.

Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

why didn't the boy get his soda Because the cashier shot him

Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

Q-Jetski A-How is olive oil made?

So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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