Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man? It would be cannibalism to eat a black man.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, I like Tities and so do you

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What does Santa and a grape have in common? They're both purple, except Santa.

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Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

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What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a crap?

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What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

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What do you call a Mexican? Whatever his name is you racist.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

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ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

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Why was timmy no longer being bullied at school? The rope said it all! Bitch Died HA

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is in an abusive relationship and drinking her pain away.

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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What did the politician say to the bank robber? "Were both robbers"

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Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She had finished her breakfast and had to get to her job as a firefighter.

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Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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