A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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Yo momma so fat, she's in the hospital dying of morbid obesity. Sorry man.

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I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

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knock knock who's their panda panda who shut up I never said yo name and don't call me black

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What Do You Call a Black Man With a Gun?? A Cop

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GAWS SI EKOJITNA

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Q: why are anti-jokes tasteless? A: because they have no flavoure

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What did the jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing.

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I work at jcpenny

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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What did the blind boy get for one of his Christmas present? A cinema ticket.

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What's funny about a car accident involving three children, a widow, and a dog? Nothing.

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Erron, who the hell do you work for? I thought we where friends, allies! We have not done anything illegal ever!

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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A Christian walks into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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People...

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the holocaust

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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How do the Chinese name their children? They decide on a name that both parents can agree upon, and they write that on the certificate of birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops