A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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What's worse than waking up with a hangover? Not waking up at all

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

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Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

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Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

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How do u stop sky from being gay. You don't

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who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

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What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

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Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

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Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

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What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

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We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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* Are you afraid of dinosaurs? * No, they're all dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops