What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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Yo momma's so fat she ate Sally's arms. Knock Knock Who's There. The police we have a warrant for your mothers arrest on charges of cannibalism and kidnapping.

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Man walks into a bar, Has a few drinks and goes home.

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knock know. who there?.............. whose there?.........whose there!?!?! damn kids

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one you care bout so why did u say who's there?

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What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

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Whats two plus two? Miles

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dad was a serious alcoholic who refused to go to rehab. Being an alcoholic constantly led to him beating the boy and his mother. Eventually, the boy couldn't handle this anymore, and he committed suicide. Realizing what he had done, the father also committed suicide. The mother is now locked away in a mental hospital, for she couldn't hold grasp of the deaths of her husband, and her son.

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What's worse then the Boston bombing? The Texas bombing, considering Texas is a much bigger region then Boston.

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An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

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What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

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What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

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You might be a redneck. Sorry.

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What has an orange t shirt A dick I lied about the shirt

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what did the downsindrome get for christmas?? A: Aids and a Dead wife

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A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

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yo momma so stupid she should probably be taken to a specialist as she may have a learning disability.

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Just found out that it doesn't work.

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srrsly, the fuk is going down here? read down It`s satanist rituals or something, Are there mmodderators that will remove this things seriusly!Moral stuf is satanism!!!!

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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