Who is John Galt?

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a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

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How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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whats big and green, andif it falls from a tree , it can kill you? a golfcourse

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red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

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Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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Why are you so stupid? Becuse I spelled because wrong

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why do you put a baby in the blender feet first to see its expression

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Ask me if i am a tree? "Are you a tree" No.

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

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A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

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Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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Two Jews, three Nazis, and a black guy go into a bar. Where they have a spirited debate about Canadian football. And leave without coming to any conclusions.

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A drunken man grabbed a gun and shot his entire family to death. Luckily, a even drunker man had shot them moments before, so it really only served to ruin the perfectly good wall behind them with bullet holes.

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This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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Whats white? A fridge

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please thumbs this up to help rhinos with boners thank you

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why was the witch in the broom factory? she was recently employed there and is loving her job maing brooms

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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Knock knock, "Whos there" a business man who wants to sell you things that you don't need "Oh, go away"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? George Bush

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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