Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

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What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

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roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

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What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

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If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

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Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

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What did the suspicious Hunchback say? I've got a hunch.

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

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Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? I dont have a bowling ball stapled to my tree

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Leaves are green, You should know all this by now...

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A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

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Religionh

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How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

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That awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it would.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm a talking horse and that's what you ask me? On the day I just buried my only son?"

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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