What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench. They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

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Where did the banana go? -Nowhere, a banana can't walk.,

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

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What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

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What's wanted by none, wanted by one, and is worse than Terran Hansen? Brooke Colbert. Go you Jesse.

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What did Britney Spears say to the Mexican? Hit me baby Juan more time.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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What's worse than waking up with a hangover? Not waking up at all

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

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Ey hornboy give es a SCAB

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Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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If i open this door you can go trough it

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. And you said you'd never forget.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops