Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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If you are riding uphill in a canoe and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to fit in the dog house? None. Ice cream has no bones.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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Q:Whats a similarity between your mom and your dad? A:They both hate you -Ryan V

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1: Why did Suzie have no arms and no legs? 2: Why? 1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's there? 1: Not Suzie

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there?

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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dassa

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand. QUACK!!!

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Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim in already in america.

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If black guys really have big packages, why are there standards so low, they prefer fat girls? I don't know, but prejudice and racism is wrong dickhead.

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea lives for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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A black man walks into a... nevermind, this joke is dumb.

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Why do black people have white hands? Palms and soles are not in direct sunlight, and therefore less amounts of melanin are produced in those regions.

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how do you get a man with a gun out of your house? you don't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? blue paint on the rag

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why did the baby fall out of the tree? the monkey dropped it. why did the monkey drop the baby? it was dead.

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Andrew's a bald wankstain.

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What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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"Where's your mom?' "She died last night. . ."

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Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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