- Anti Joke

I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

What did the man say while he was in surgery? Nothing, he was in surgery.

Yo mama's so fat that she needs substantially larger clothes than most other people

What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

The adventures of Helen Keller:

A seal walks into a club.

Q. Whats black and rhymes with Snoop? A. Dr Dre

when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

Q: Why's everyone afraid of Friday the 13th? A: Justin Bieber's movie comes out.

What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

What is it called when a black guy gets robed A crime

What would Micheal Jackson do if he were alive today? THRILLER! THRILLER! THRILLERS NIGHT!

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

I'm winning at Scrabble.

Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

Do u take sugar?

Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

Shea's sty....

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

Dyslexics have more nuf!

What did the man say while he was in surgery? Nothing, he was in surgery.

Yo mama's so fat that she needs substantially larger clothes than most other people

What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??