What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Whatever his parents named him

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what's pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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what did the bull say when it got shot? nothing... its a bull

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A jellyfish walks into a bar, the bar doesnt appreciate him, so he retreats back to his jellyfish lands.

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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Why did the fat man fall off the swing? Because he weighed 855 pounds and it broke.

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whats fat and ugly ? aidan slattery

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There is a dead guy on the road lying in a puddle of blood with a gunshot wound on his head. What happened? He died

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why was Diana crying? Because she was penetrated.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me. I heard you do some pretty nasty things with 9. Sincerely, 7

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Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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