What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

thumb_up thumb_down +32

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was the girl crying? - Someone pooped on her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Jack and jill went up a hill to get some water. Jack fell down, twisted his ankle, and continued to roll. He broke his spine and collar bone and he was later taken to the hospital. Later that night he died because the doctors couldn't do anything. Jill then killed herself in mourning.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father! Luke: You're not my dad!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHA PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the boy make a horribly unfunny anti joke? He was bored.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man walks into a bar... The steal bar hurt his face and had to get stitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

thumb_up thumb_down +30

hear hear

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

thumb_up thumb_down +28

one day a white guy was in detroit. it was very strange. nothing happened

thumb_up thumb_down +28

So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops