whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

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Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

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My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

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Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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