What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

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A boy walks into a bar, then walked out. He's not 21!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Frances. Frances who? Frances Payne.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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shut up kobe!

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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justin bieber: ask me if im a boy are you a boy? no.

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Little goldy locks was walking through a forest and stumbled across a nice cabin. She went inside and ate some newly made porridge and slept on the various beds that were there. The owners of the house came back from a stroll of their own and sued her for breaking and entering.

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what do you call and man that has a twitch every time someone say tissue broken arm, leg, hand, collar bone and there iphone? A mentally and physically demented man that needs serious help from a psychotherapist otherwise matter would get increasingly worse

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What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

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What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

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Why was the boy's face red? He put his cat in a blender.

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punchline below punchline above

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John.

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Q:What do African American men call the Internet? A:The Internet

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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