A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

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Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

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What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

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What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a convicted cannibalistic rapist.

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What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

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What did the Joker say to Batman? Why are we wearing these stupid costumes

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why did Sarah fall out of the swing? she had no arms. Knock knock. who's there? not Sarah.

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great distance she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

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What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

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If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

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Q: What did the duck say to the other duck? A: Quack

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Yo mama is so ugly, she entered an ugly contest and placed well in her division.

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what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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A woman walks into a bar and asks for a duck. The bartender is confused, assumes the women has some sort of mental problem, and treats her nicely, as his sister suffers from Down's Syndrome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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