heat!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what do you call Mackenzie Phillips? five head

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the best rabbit for a black person?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your momma's so fat she has diabetes and my have to get one of her legs amputated. It's actually quite sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why is Kony so mean? He used to date your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what brown, red, and green and smells like poop. diareeha

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops