I ran in to Hitler. "Hey, Hitler, what's up?" I asked. "Well, this time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and 2 clowns." "Two clowns?" I ask. "Why two clowns?" "See!" He exclaimed. "No one cares about the Jews!"

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

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What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

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What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

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How do you get a priest to cry? Stab him.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. my Mom is a hooker.

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What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

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How do you hook up with a really hot chick? This website is intended for Anti-Jokes, Not Dating Advice.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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What's worse than an anti-joke about an anti-joke? The Holocaust

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because the farmer is obviously to stupid to build a proper chicken coop, and thus his chicken is crossing the road and will most likely be hit by a car

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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