Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your Fallopian tubes ripped out by wolverine

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What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

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Girl look at that body, girl look at that body, I got passion in my pants... Actually I lied, I got a penis and testicles in my pants, but I'm afraid to show it because people might think it's small, sorry

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

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Do cows get breast cancer or utter cancer?

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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A Black man walks into a bar. He then has a drink of Alcohol and walks home to return to his family.

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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What's worse than chicken pox? AIDs.

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Why does beyonce sing "to the left to the left?" cause women have no rights

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Why was the girl sad? Because borat came had DA SEXI TIME with yo mother in law:)

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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Who do you call when you see a ghost on the street? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!! no, ghostbusters are not real, you call the police

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i just pooped that is all!

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Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

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Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

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A man with a blue house wears a blue shirt and wears blue jeans. Someone from a red house with a red shirt knocks on his door. He is invited in because they are friends and both have a wonderful time.

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I was watching two muffins baking in an oven. One said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one said "Wow! A talking muffin!" I went to my psychiatrist the next day, to increase the dosage on my medication.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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