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How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

What would George washington do if he was still alive He isn't so we dont have to worry about that.

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

What's black and white and in the desert? Tourists being held hostage by a tribe.

Q:Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Conrad Barry

A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

What is the difference between a woman and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is the most common term for adult females of the human race.

Lol, thats funny, sorry for asking, but is your eye doing better? Was their IQ test the same one you get when you enter their site?

Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

Koalas mum is a slut

Roses come in a variety of colors.

Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

whats a bike and rhymes with mike?

Stop me if you heard this one before.

Whats brown and sticky? A stick

Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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