A plane is falling out of the sky, and there is a Priest, a little boy, Obama and a rock star. There are 4 parachutes and everyone jumps out safety.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby wearing a clown suit.

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what rhymes with ham and bread? girl, make me a sandwich

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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I was gonna tell a gay joke Butt fuck it.

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Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

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On a scale from 1-10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet?

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What does it mean when you have big shoes? Either you were genetically born with big feet, or you are wearing sheos that are too big for you.

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What's red bubbly and spins around? A baby in a microwave

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What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

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Do cows get breast cancer or utter cancer?

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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Girl look at that body, girl look at that body, I got passion in my pants... Actually I lied, I got a penis and testicles in my pants, but I'm afraid to show it because people might think it's small, sorry

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I like the color potato.

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What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your Fallopian tubes ripped out by wolverine

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

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Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

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DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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