You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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There are 2 carrots sitting in a basket. One carrot says to the other; I'm a carrot! The other carrot does not reply, because carrots do not speak. Now consider the possibility, that the first carrot was a talking monkey.

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What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

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How do you stop your golf ball from hitting a goose? You dont.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

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roses are red violets are dead honey is yellow and so is head

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Guess what. Chicken butt.

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Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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Have a nice day! Dont tell me what to do.

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

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How do you know if you have a good slave? It is hard working and determined... And black

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I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

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Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? Take a price of cloth and put it over his eyes

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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david poredos

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops