What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

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Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

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womens rights.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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Why did my pussy get wet? Because I splashed him with water. LOL SO FUNNY OMFG DA BEST JOKE EVA!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Frances. Frances who? Frances Payne.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff, Whats not pink and fluffy? Sexual assault.

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The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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