Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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my hand is a DOLPHIN!

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what happened to the 4 year old girl who got stuck in the freezer? She froze.

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aa

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Delivery for a Mr. Peerson? Oh yes, that's me. Thank you.

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What happened to the little boys house? It burned down. How did the boy die? In the fire.

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

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I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

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Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

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You: Hey, I have a good knock knock joke, here, you start! -and if all goes well...- Them: Knock knock! You:Who's there? Them: Uhh...

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your family die in a fire.

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Whats more painful than falling onto a sharp stone? Suffering the loss of your mother and newborn brother in a tragic car accident on your birthday.

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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