what do ninjas and gay people have in common... if you eat them they will no longer be alive

Q: what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We're both lawyers!

Say the line below sixteen times very fast: I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... Done? Good boy!

why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

A man walked into his house to find that his wife was cheating on him with another man. He was furious, and killed himself

Why did the fungus leave the party? Truffle.

Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

why was the movie rated PG 13? mild violence and sexual content

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

This is a haiku Haikus are not really jokes Congratulations!

What do you call a black man on a horse? A BLACK MAN A ON A HORSE.

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's green and shitty? A bootleg stick.

How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

Every human being has some kind of penis <3

What do retards say when someone knocks on the door... NOBY HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....................and that concludes our moment of silence

How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

If you were a cactus, why?

How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

What's the ultimtate guerilla camoflauge at night time? Black people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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