Why scooby-doo likes cookies? Because he's chub!

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, for the task at hand is so simple, you should do it.

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what did lois call peter when she first saw him? i dont dont know do you?

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Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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Roses are red violet are blue i saw a machine and it was ps2

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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What's green and blue? yellow

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

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How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

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A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

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How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

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A Jew, Catholic, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The Jew leaves first for an unrelated reason.

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How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

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What happened while Thomas crossed the street? He got hit by a truck. What happened to Billy? He was Thomas's Siamese twin, and he too met the same fate.

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What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

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What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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