What's worse than waking up with a hangover? Not waking up at all

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How do you approach a hot guy in the library? Very quietly.

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Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

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Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

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How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

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What's black and can't speak? A garbage can.

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Q: If you are running a race and a fridge hits you, how many dogs play x-box in the snow? A: 12 orange waffles

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Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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"I am proud to be black and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist. "I am proud to be white and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Racist and offensive to black people "I am proud to be asian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist "I am proud to be Ethiopian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Said nobody, ever

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Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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Dont follow this link.......http://www.google.com/imghp?hl=en&q=blue+waffle&tab=wi

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Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

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Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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Roses are green,violets are blue,i'm high as ****,is that perfume or glue?

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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You think I'm pretty without any makeup boy..... Let's bang.

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What's the difference between a duck? A toothbrush, because a car only has four doors!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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