What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

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why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

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Why did the hamster not eat it's food? Because it wasn't hungry.

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WEED!

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A white man, a black man, and a mexican are stranded on an island. They all died.

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heads up!

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life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

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when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

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I like my kids how i like my coffee I dont like coffee

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, for the task at hand is so simple, you should do it.

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Knock knock Who's there? Not you

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What happens if you play CS:GO? Well you loose alot of fucking money.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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woman..parallel parking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops