Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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What do you do when your archenemy walks up to you? Kill them due to their vulnerability, I mean they walked up to you...

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How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

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Why can't the Mexican float? He never learned the proper technique as he was not allowed to take swim class.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virginity but he got it back

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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What's the difference between a baby and an egg? One is fun to throw at houses and the other is an egg.

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There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

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a white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy all jump off a building. they all immediately die on impact, later on the news white guy jumps off building.

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I bought a pound of gold for my new gold ring, later that day I lost it

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why did winnie the pooh have his head in the toilet,? it was clogged.

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Two guys walk into a bar. This is really exciting as they haven't seen each other for two years and are looking forward to catching up.

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Q:Why did the retarded student get called down to the office? A:Because both his parents died in a car accident.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Breaking news! An 18 wheeler has gone loose and hit a playground damaging a swing, 1 fatality and 16 children injured 5 in critical condition

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want to hear a cheesy joke? ... cheddar

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why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

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Neil Lewis

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Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

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Heeeheeeerrrrrrrrrrr

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops