Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are baked until ready and then enjoyed be the person who made them.

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What did the teacher say to the kid who got a 0 on a multiple choice spelling test? Wow your really dumb. Idiot

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What's blue and looks just like water? Water.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It heard you like to choke the chicken.

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he wanted to

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What goes 100 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

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What's worse than a kid with a big head? Nothing you just look weird like Austin

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Why did America nuke Japan? Because Japan bombed Pearl Harbor.

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What did the red-haired barber say to the father who abandoned him at birth? Nothing. The father sat to the side and read a magazine as the barber cut the hair of his legitimate child, failing to recognize the irony of the situation.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

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What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

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What's the difference between an eight year old girl and a Jew? Only one comes back from camp.

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What do u call a woman geometry teacher. Santains wife.

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

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What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

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BIble verses: (secret bible code breaker edition) 90.01: Might thy level of power rise above the scouter of Vegebles 3.14: Thy shall make use of pee 6:9 Oral interaction is good for thee. 9:6: Peter said, lordeth this is no good, then the lordet said, try 6:9 and all was good. 6.66 Calleth upon this number on thy cell to speak with the beast. 9:11 This number shall aid you when in danger if thy have a cell, but not against the fallen by and Al Caida. 8:00 Call upon thy cellphone at no cost. 5.99 Thy use of plays of station three, areth too expensive... Whoops! Amen and RIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACER! 50:50 Thy shall share equally. 6:19: Thy shall use thy wrestling moves well. 20:00 Thy shall noth uset this windows version as it sucketh.' 88:88 Thy shall create four equal snowmen for me. 12.34 Read this and thy shall learn to count til four. 7:77 The number of the luck. X:B0X: It sucketh hard. 3:60 it sucketh far more than the original 9:99 Is the number to defeateth the beast while he is resting upside down 0:13 "and samuel said, but oh lord, I am a teen now!" And the lord agreed and all was good. Ok, I got to decode my bible further, yes indeed!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

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why did they make a new iphone? because individuals like to be connected to local and world wide media so they can stay in touch with all news, friends and family.

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson. I spelled "red" wrong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops