How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

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A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

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What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's DEAD!

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White NBA players.

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Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

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Where's the dick??? east

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Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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Why was baby Johnny crying because a monkey came and ripped of his dick

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Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

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What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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******************************************************** Okay, so there were two muffins in the oven. One muffin said, "Oh my gosh! We're gonna die!" The other muffin said, "Whoa a talking muffin!" **********************************************************

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

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What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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Why scooby-doo likes cookies? Because he's chub!

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How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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