soccer

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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What do you call a moldy apple? ... A moldy apple.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 was a sixoffender!

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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whats a bike and rhymes with mike?

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A black duck walks into a bar. Duck: "I'll have a beer." Bartender: " How you paying for that?" Duck: "Put it on the tax payers."

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

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Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

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What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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you gay?

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A man finds an antique lamp at a garage sale. He takes it home and polishes it, and a majestic genie materializes. The genie thanks the man for freeing him from excruciating slavery, shakes his hand, and returns home to his overjoyed family.

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ur an fagit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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