Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

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How do you approach a hot guy in the library? Very quietly.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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Q. Why did the man die? A. Natural Causes

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Why doesn't my mom make dinner anymore? she died in a fire on my birthday.

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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Girl look at that body, girl look at that body, I got passion in my pants... Actually I lied, I got a penis and testicles in my pants, but I'm afraid to show it because people might think it's small, sorry

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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What do you call a fly without wings? Injured and left for dead.

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Jimmy is at a movie ? He's with a gay boy

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Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

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what do you call a monkey? a monkey

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

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Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

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why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

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A man walked into a bar. He got a head trauma and committed suicide.

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

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Knock knock Whos there? A rapist. Go away I'm calling the police!! (The rapist then proceeds to break open the door, beat the woman repeatedly with a baseball bat, and then rapes her)

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There was an American, Mexican, and a Chineese man, they were all on a plane about to crash. They all threw off the plane somthing they had a lot of in their country before they died. the mexican sacraficed tacos. the chineese sacraficed noodles. and the american picked up the mexican and chineese and was about to throw them off beacause he had too many of them in their country but then he came to relization that a community with biodiversity is an important factor in life today. i mean, someones gonna have to mow the lawn?

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Two Iranians walk into an airport They show their passports and proceed to fly to their home in Minnesota

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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