Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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why did the chicken cross the road ask jake darby

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Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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A black man, a Muslim man, and a Jewish man walk into a bar so the bartender says, "Get the f*** out."

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A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

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How do you kill a blonde? Choke her.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

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I was walking down the street next thing I new 15 blacks and Hispanics died in a dive buy. The next day every white guy in the cars doin the drive buy blew up ohwell

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

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What do a bike and a human have in common they are both objects

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What starts with p and ends in orn? Popcorn

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what did the man say when he walked into the bar? Ouch!

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Thumbs this up

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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What happened to the toddler on the swing? She was left unatended and was raped.

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Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

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What's red and screams? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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nolan is gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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