Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Women can vote? WTF

thumb_up thumb_down -19

2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many pieces of gum are in 5 gum? 5. i meen 7

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair because hair color varies depending on genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Canada say to America? We will not become apart of the United States where people are known as Fat Nascar lovin hicks!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is black and blue? A pen with reversable ink.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

sorry son your nanas been put down

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the man say to the woman giving him a blowjob? That feels good.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are red violets are black lewis norris has a fucking narra back

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a white man takeing orders from a black man? Batman and robin

thumb_up thumb_down -19

cake cake and no cake, your life just ended

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the cow say "moo"? because he's a cow and that's what cows say.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:What's the difference between a Boy scout and a Jew? A:Boy scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops