What do you call a man with no friends? Terry

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a shiny new Cadillac? I don't have a shiny new Cadillac in my garage.

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Whats worse than a son killing his own father? His biological father finds him, 10 years later.

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Why did the fall off the building? ... because I pushed her

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was chicken food on the other side

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Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

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yo mama so stupid, she went to the super bowl an bought a spoon

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I grunt when I poop.

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The WNBA

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What do you get when you cross an own and a bungee cord? My ass

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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A man walks into a bar. He proceeds to get intoxicated and then commits a felony.

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Why did Jessica fall off the swing? She doesn't have any arms Knock, knock Whose there? Not Jessica

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Q: why did Suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzy.

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What's funnier then the holocaust? A second one.

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Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

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What do you call a black man riding a plane? A black man riding a plane.

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Is a tomato a vegetable? Depends if it is comatose.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Doctor everybody that I stare at seems to die moments later! Uh, why are you looking at me so intensely... >:)

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Kris- "Hey! Ask me if I'm a tree! Kait&Alyssa- ".....Are you a tree?...." Kris- "No.(:"

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops