What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

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Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

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Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

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knock knock, Whos there ? ( runs away ) trololololololololol

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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~Chinese Anti Joke~ What is the difference between American army and Chinese army? American army teach youngsters to use their tanks. Chinese army smash youngsters with their tanks.

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Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

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What did the Pope say to the homosexual couple? Welcome to the community.

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What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

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Oh and Nero, what are you suffering from? Is it dangerous? Are you dying or something? Please dont scare me like that again.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

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What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

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Knock Knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's strange, most American's don't eat poo I'm Asian

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Life is like a box of chocolates, quite strange to enjoy when you're single.

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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Women. One of the genders a human can be.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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