Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

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Q: why did everyone on the ship drown? A: Because the ship sunk

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

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What's worse than waking up with a hangover? Not waking up at all

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Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

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How do you approach a hot guy in the library? Very quietly.

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Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

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"I am proud to be black and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist. "I am proud to be white and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Racist and offensive to black people "I am proud to be asian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist "I am proud to be Ethiopian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Said nobody, ever

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Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

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Q: If you are running a race and a fridge hits you, how many dogs play x-box in the snow? A: 12 orange waffles

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

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How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

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What's black and can't speak? A garbage can.

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

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How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says what do you want? the duck says nothing cause ducks can't talk

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how how does a black man jump. the same way anyone else does

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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