What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

A boy walks into a bar, then walked out. He's not 21!

What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a prison. They're stopped by a gang. Hey, want to play a game? They answer "No thanks, we died in the last joke."

what is almost like Jesus? Jesus

In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't: 9 was a dick.

why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. One polar says to the other, "Pass the soap please." And the other polar bear says, "No soap, radio!"

What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled ice cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

Q: What happened to the man who died? A: Nothing, there is no afterlife.

-Can I ask you one question? -Yes. -Thank you.

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

Ill never forget the last phone conversation i had with my Jewish friend before he died due to the 9/11 incident. Friend:owejpq3jhp3qjopiqwejhriopjhaiophfioashiohwih13ioh3f2893hoiqehefioahfioahisdpahdfajdfopasjiopdfajdfopsajradalkdjakldja;hdfkl;adhlpa;dhfakl;dhkladhkadhlkhdjklahdjkgsdjkgbdqwgy3bi3grqbhgjkasjkdkasjdgjkadgskajgdkajdsgjkasgdad

justin bieber: ask me if im a boy are you a boy? no.

Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

How do you kill a black man? You cn coz he'll beat you up first

why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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