Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and asks for directions to the nearest Applebee's.

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There was an american man on the way to work.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms... Why couldn't sally get up? She had no legs Why did no one help sally? Because she has no friends.

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Q.Why did the boy fail to complete his homework? A. He was a loaf of bread

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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Why was Why added to why? Because WHy not.

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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i died. new product by steve jobs

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

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Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

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How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

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What is stupid? I would say you but these jokes are worse.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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Poop swing

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How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

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Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

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Whats worse than finding an worm in your apple? 1942 BERLIN

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A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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