There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

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What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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96 there mad at each other instead its 69

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

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Person 1: I got a really good knock, knock joke. Person 2: Okay. Person 1: You start. Person 2: Knock, knock. Person 1: Who's there? Person 2: ...

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Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

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knock! knock! Whos there? Chris Hansen..

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why did the guitar player cross the road? to play his gig

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I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

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Whats worse than a dog biting you? Cancer.

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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Why did the parents order the 16 year old daughter to move out of Virginia? Because she lost her virginity

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You know what makes jokes funny? Irony You know what makes anti-jokes funny? Common sense

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Mormons having fun.

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Why was the boy hanging from the ceiling? He was sad

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Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

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How do you know it's a bad day? When your brain does not release a high enough level of seratonin.

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4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

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How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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Your Mother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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