What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

What is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

,try this on a girl, say "can I pop your cherry.........soda bottle cap off your cherry soda bottle?"

Once upon a time, a boy sat on a hedgehog. He abruptly stood up, as the spikes had caused him a certain amount of discomfort.

What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

I have suicidal thoughts

Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

a man made a beautiful colorful picture and hit print. the printer then grew a mind of its own and did the most horriffic and evil thing ever; he printed it in black and white.

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

what do you call 10 mexicans standing in a line? It's probably a lunch line for a taco vendor. And even this is just a coincidence. Everybody loves tacos.

why did the packers win the superbowl? because they were very good

Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

Yo mama so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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