Q:What is yellow and has wheels A: A banana I was joking about the wheels

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Only in your math books can Carlos buy 14 cantaloupes without hus sanity being questioned.

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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That was me, I thought we where friends now... I am so sorry, I really did not send anyone nor anything, I would never do such a thing! What happened to you is terrible, I did say I knew who they where and that they are in prison, but that was a lie, I just wanted for you to think I was really confident and in control. Please Nero, let me speak to you, nothing is like you think, Jenny is my stepmother, please don't do anything.

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Today, my doctor discovered I had a tumor in my brain the size of a walnut. FML.

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Why did the Flyers lose to the Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup? Because they aren't as good as the Blackhawks.

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hello? knock knock. you called me, why are you saying knock knock?

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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What is better than a dead baby nailed to a tree? A dead baby nailed to 10 Trees.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing set? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

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what did the postman say to the dog, nothing he doesnt speak dog....... but his mother in law does.

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What stops a fully black english man from marrying a fully chinese women, the language barrier of course!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your parents are dead, and so will you.

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Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

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Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

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What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

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-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

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How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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What do you call a black male teacher? A: A Teacher .

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So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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