Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

Creepy Man: Let's play the rape game Young Girl: No!!!! Creepy Man: That's the spirit

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Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

what does a black person and an elephant have in common? what? they are both living beings who have their place in the world.

-Whats not funny and has wheels? >What? -The Holocaust... I was lying about the wheels

What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

What did Canada say to America? We will not become apart of the United States where people are known as Fat Nascar lovin hicks!

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

What's brown and sticky? A Stick!

Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

why wont our kids have time to socialize? because theyll all be too busy trying to find a solution for global warming.

An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

hey im leon and i love the chuckie