- Anti Joke

What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

Why would it matter if they believed such a thing? Are you trying to screw me over? You know that I am very competent at making myself seem like a total jackass myself right? You got a point, it is not my role to help others in life, I just guess I enjoy repairing others, it sure is a hell lot easier than repairing myself, I just enjoy repairing things I can repair I suppose, now using them as my henchmen that's just worthless. The way I see it, people that wage wars, control others, indoctrinate them, and/or accumulate great sums of wealth to the point where, well its pointless, are all just overcompensating, trying to make up for something that they cannot repair within themselves. It is only natural, I mean we humans, if we lack something, we get a lot more of something else. Thanks, you are right about that whole "soul incident" as I call it, it is strange how people often seem to know each other a lot better than they know themselves, I mean I could at any time choose to quit, to become like others, to surrender my individuality, to "give up my soul" or rather the essence of what makes us unique. But you know, ill rather die than live as a servant for a society many would say I never truly learned to understand. Truth is, I will never accept it, if true strength stops arriving from within, its because people choose to seek it from others, the day I require the approval of others in order to sustain myself, ill off myself, that's not a real definition of existence as far as my opinion goes. I mean what are we worth to ourselves, if we become beings that base our so called value on what others think about us? We should focus on becoming those that spread joy and inspire others, rather than to seek inspiration and joy from others. Why? Because its a win win scenario, you cannot spread joy if you got none, you cannot inspire others if we have no inspiration, I guess you can fake it, sometimes until it becomes real, but that is mental-ism and not ideology (not that they are complete opposites, and if they are not opposites, they can work as a synergy) I guess I had forgotten about that, tell yourself that you are great enough, and you become great, excuse me, I am dead tired, its been hours, say, how are you doing?

A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

Your mama's so hairy, the only language she knows is wookie.

Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

A black guy, a priest, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They order water and chat about life.

A man walks into a bar... he is blind so it isn't funny

why didn't the chicken cross the road ? because half way acroos he got hit by a car and the animal heath care had to take him away and put him down

Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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