A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

What did Canada say to America? We will not become apart of the United States where people are known as Fat Nascar lovin hicks!

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what does a black person and an elephant have in common? what? they are both living beings who have their place in the world.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

-Whats not funny and has wheels? >What? -The Holocaust... I was lying about the wheels

haha black people :D

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

do you wanna hear a joke school

Where's my tractor?

When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

What's the best part of having sex with twenty eight year olds? They are of the legal age

What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

Did you hear about the 2 pretzels walking down the street? It's not true, pretzels are not capable of autonomous movement.