I got a joke for ya. George W. Bush was our president. He is a joke, but no one is laughing.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Potato!

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He's dead now.

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Q; How does a priest perform an exorcism? A: He doesn't.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A baseball, bat, and a glove.

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What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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whats the difference between a chicken and a rooster. a rooster has a dick

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What do you call a blue chair A black person

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad that this joke took your mind off your terminal cancer?

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A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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whats the difference between a bench and a mexican? a bench can support its family

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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