Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

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Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

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What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

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What did the boy say during his math test? Nothing, talking during a test is prohibited.

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I hope the Angels win the pennant No pun intended

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

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Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

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"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

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The Christian prayed every night to God for a new bike. He kept it up for a year. Finally, he got a bike for his birthday.

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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EGGPLANT

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One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

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What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

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Hey! You wanna' hear a joke? Black Freedom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops