Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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Why did the guy playing Monopoly sell Boardwalk for $100 to the woman wearing an exotic outfit which shows off her boobs but wouldn't sell Boardwalk for $1000 to the other person that was playing the game? The other person had Park Place as well which would have given them a monopoly on the blue property if he had sold it to that person. And $100 is all the girl had or he would have asked for more but he needed the $100 in order to pay this other player and keep himself from going bankrupt after landing on one of his Hotels.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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I like my women like I like my coffee, a brewed beverage prepared from the roasted seeds of an evergreen shrub of the genus Coffea.

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What do you call a Black Priest? His title would probably be Reverend, and then his last name after it.

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why did the boy fall off his bicycle? because his dad threw a refrigerator at him.

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Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and lasagna? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

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In Soviet Russia..... the exact same thing happens, stupid.

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So, a man walks into a bar, and he ends up in intensive care, because the bar was very hot and gave him severe burns. He was on business in an industrial park.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why the f*** do so many people ask this question?

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how do you make abus driver cry? you rip his limbs off.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

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What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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hey! did u just fall??? ..no..gravity wanted a hug.!

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What's harder than steel? Beating Tetris. What's harder than diamond? Beating Tetris...

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Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

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Dyslexics have more nuf!

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A seal walks into a club.

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Lil Wayne's rapping career

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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