Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because in between 6 and 7 there used to be the number § but 7 raped and murdered it.

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guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

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What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

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Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting anally raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

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Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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A boy walks into a bar, then walked out. He's not 21!

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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How do you kill a black man? You cn coz he'll beat you up first

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Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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