what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

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Q: How do you make an mail man cry? A: Take his car and run over his family.

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What did the black man say to the fat Irish lady? Hi.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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Your mother is so average in weight and in attractiveness.

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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Did you hear about the guy who got his entire LEFT side ripped off? He's dead.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a dog, Meow.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know chickens are absent minded creatures that can aimlessly walk around.

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name one pop artist who's better than Michael Jackson that's really hard. there's so many

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Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

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Ms Leong Sux

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Why did the gay guy go in the bar? To find some hookers

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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